Confidence is a preferance

[cdave]

or why I call myself Dave.

When I was a really little kid days were long and sunny, except when it snowed in winter. And I was a confident little David. I made friends easily, and generally was hyperactive and surreal the whole time.

Then as I went through school I became less open with those that didn't know me. I'd be a loud as ever with my mates, but quiet if I didn't know anyone there.

I'd been going to youth theatre classes for years, and when I was 16 I made a concious decision to as boisterous and surreal there with anyone, as I would be with close friends. I can't remember my exact thoughts, but it was something along the lines of "since everyone is here to be dramatic, it should be a safe space to be outgoing in". And I introduced myself as Dave.

When it came to A-levels, I'd taken maths early, and none of the local colleges were on the same exam board, so a whole bunch of the brightest kids stayed on at the IVth form. The way my school worked meant I'd only been in classes with about 50% of the kids before, but had had run ins with a fair few of them. I must have known about 75% of the sixth form from day one. So this was also somewhere safe to be odd in public.

By the time I started Uni I'd been being Dave rather than David long enough that this was a not so much a habit as a way of life.

Comments

[watervole.livejournal.com]

I like the way you've titled this. I'm Judith rather than Judy, because it's my preference - and it's confidence that makes me explain this to every person who calls me Judy.

[fiat-knox.livejournal.com]

I know this woman at A4e, who insists on calling me Alexander, even though (1) only my mother calls me that; (2) and only when I am in trouble.

My inner demon keeps scrambling for the Freud whenever I think this.

[sarahdotcom.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I've always hated Sarah and I kind of wish I'd called myself Elizabeth (my middle name) or variants thereof (Lizzie, Liz, Beth etc). But it feels a bit late now.

[eviljules.livejournal.com]

I think you became Dave to me at around the same time I became Jules to everyone else. That was never a conscious decision on my part - it was just what people started calling me and it stuck.

Now it's a name I use to introduce myself in social situations - probably, like you, as a confidence thing. I rarely use it at work, although some have taken it upon themselves to call me that without prompting, which I don't object to, but find it a bit odd.

But on the whole I'm happy enough being called whatever people want to call me...other than Julie, which irks me every time. Having said that - I don't think anyone's mistakenly called me that for years! I guess I just don't *look* like a Julie any more :o)

[mokatiki.livejournal.com]

I remember at school one of my friends trying to tell me off and shouting 'Annabell!' at me.I was boggled, considering my name is Anna and always has been, I have no idea where she got 'Annabell' from (it just as easily could have been Joanna I guess).

I am Anna, and I hate it if people call 'Ann' because that is actually a name. I think I have a Thing about my name. At uni in one workshop the register every week had 'Anne Rafferty' on the list but never me. Every week they said they would change it, but it was always wrong.

anyway...