Confidence is a preferance

[cdave]

or why I call myself Dave.

When I was a really little kid days were long and sunny, except when it snowed in winter. And I was a confident little David. I made friends easily, and generally was hyperactive and surreal the whole time.

Then as I went through school I became less open with those that didn't know me. I'd be a loud as ever with my mates, but quiet if I didn't know anyone there.

I'd been going to youth theatre classes for years, and when I was 16 I made a concious decision to as boisterous and surreal there with anyone, as I would be with close friends. I can't remember my exact thoughts, but it was something along the lines of "since everyone is here to be dramatic, it should be a safe space to be outgoing in". And I introduced myself as Dave.

When it came to A-levels, I'd taken maths early, and none of the local colleges were on the same exam board, so a whole bunch of the brightest kids stayed on at the IVth form. The way my school worked meant I'd only been in classes with about 50% of the kids before, but had had run ins with a fair few of them. I must have known about 75% of the sixth form from day one. So this was also somewhere safe to be odd in public.

By the time I started Uni I'd been being Dave rather than David long enough that this was a not so much a habit as a way of life.

Comments

[watervole.livejournal.com]

I like the way you've titled this. I'm Judith rather than Judy, because it's my preference - and it's confidence that makes me explain this to every person who calls me Judy.

[cdave]

The "Why I call myself Dave" is the real title.

The actual title is lifted from a lyric from Parklife, which I used to listen to a lot when I was a teenager.

I've just realised I've always heard of you as, and refereed to you as Judith, and never even considered Judy before.

I know names are important, but I find it hard to stop referring to some of my friends by their surnames, despite them growing out of that habit.

[fiat-knox.livejournal.com]

I know this woman at A4e, who insists on calling me Alexander, even though (1) only my mother calls me that; (2) and only when I am in trouble.

My inner demon keeps scrambling for the Freud whenever I think this.

[cdave]

That's terrible. She's supposed to be helping you and can't even remember your chosen name.

My bosses name is of the form "James Clarks" and one of the people we work for keeps calling him "Clark".

[purpletigron.livejournal.com]

I have a contact whose name is of the form John Jameson, and I keep calling him James ... he's very understanding!

[sarahdotcom.livejournal.com]

Hmm. I've always hated Sarah and I kind of wish I'd called myself Elizabeth (my middle name) or variants thereof (Lizzie, Liz, Beth etc). But it feels a bit late now.

[cdave]

Did I point you to the Sarah party before?

It's certainly easier to pick a new nickname when you meet a new bunch of people or start a new job or something. Of course you can then end up with the situation a friend has of having about 4 nicknames in current use :)

Anyway Sarah's a cool name.

[hawkida.livejournal.com]

When I was a kid I had a friend called Sarah. One day she told me she liked how I pronounced her name. I was about 6 and had known her as long as I could remember, but I always thought her name was Starer.

I was also mortified around the same age when I started writing at school to find that the words were "puddle" and "muddled up", not "puggle" and "muggled up" and NOBODY HAD TOLD ME EARLIER.

[eviljules.livejournal.com]

I think you became Dave to me at around the same time I became Jules to everyone else. That was never a conscious decision on my part - it was just what people started calling me and it stuck.

Now it's a name I use to introduce myself in social situations - probably, like you, as a confidence thing. I rarely use it at work, although some have taken it upon themselves to call me that without prompting, which I don't object to, but find it a bit odd.

But on the whole I'm happy enough being called whatever people want to call me...other than Julie, which irks me every time. Having said that - I don't think anyone's mistakenly called me that for years! I guess I just don't *look* like a Julie any more :o)

[cdave]

Timelines are about right yep. I'd have been David when we first met.

I think at one point I was trying not to call you Jules but it wouldn't stick.

Oh, and people call me David in the office (but unless their management I'm secretly still being Dave).

[(Anonymous)]

Someone called me Vixie at work the other day, which was very, very surreal as I had introduced myself as Vicky when I started the job 7 months ago, and since only close friends and Joinees call me Vixie...

I think Tobes introduced you as David when I first met you, but Dave is way cooler :)

[mokatiki.livejournal.com]

I remember at school one of my friends trying to tell me off and shouting 'Annabell!' at me.I was boggled, considering my name is Anna and always has been, I have no idea where she got 'Annabell' from (it just as easily could have been Joanna I guess).

I am Anna, and I hate it if people call 'Ann' because that is actually a name. I think I have a Thing about my name. At uni in one workshop the register every week had 'Anne Rafferty' on the list but never me. Every week they said they would change it, but it was always wrong.

anyway...

[cdave]

Yep. Julia used to get pretty pissed off in anyone called her Julie.

I must admit to a penchant for expanding people's names and nicknames.

I think my favourite one was when I gave a coworker a middle name so I could say his "full" name if I got annoyed.