If someone fails to respond to a mass email, the responses to this poll indicates that they may not be interested in the event, rather than not interested me the inviter.
It would depend on the sort of event. I would respond if numbers were critical eg for a dinner party or board gaming, or if the host was likely to make a special effort to accommodate my dietary needs. If it were a general free-for-all held by someone I was close to whose events I frequently attended, I'd respond. If it were held by someone I was not so close to, who sure-would-be-nice-to-see-you-if-you-can-make-it, I'd probably only respond if I were accepting.
Maybe people should invite me to more things so I can generate a statistically significant set of results and hone my algorithm :-)
The reason this cropped up in my head was because I've fired off about three fairly spur of the moment "want to come see this random exhibition" to a few mates.
I don't mind going alone, but it's not as fun. And (there's little chance of this happening, but) I don't want to be trying to organise 30 people. And I don't want to spam people who aren't interested at all.
Problem is if someone hasn't responded to any of them, I tend to think they're not interested in hanging out with me, or that I've misjudged the sort of thing that interests them, so I stop inviting them to things.
A friend pointed out that he was feeling anti-social for a while, so stopped going out with mates from work. By the time he felt sociable again he'd stopped being asked. In order to prevent this sort of thing, I tend to reply to anything I'd like to go to but can't.
I went to one of those plasticated-dead-person-exhibits in San Francisco last year. It was actually pretty cool, recommend you go along to one of these things if you get the opportunity.
And sometimes you're not sure if you will be going alone, and instead of enjoying doing what the heck you like, you end up waiting and waiting in case someone turns up. Not that that is how I spent last night at the cinema.
All subject to variation depending on the case. If I really wanted to go but can't I'll probably say why and that if the prior thing falls through I'll try to make it. It depends on if I feel they were personally inviting me or inviting anyone who happened to be looking in the right direction. And often there's an implied or explicit "let me know if I should expect you" and "no" is just space/time wasting. Facebook is easy cos it's got yes/no/maybe built into the invite facility.
I do try and respond with a "no, but I wish I could" where possible, just so people know the sort of things I would be interested in. Plus it's polite to respond to invites.
It would depend who it was and how far away the event was. So, say, London events I tend not to respond to unless the invitation is personal, as I think we all know it is unlikely I'll be able to go.
When inviting large groups via email I appreciate both response and non-response. Response is nice when used briefly to reaffirm connection. Non-response is nice because it doesn't clog up one's inbox. I don't take non-response or non-appearance personally, but if someone has been invited often and never responded I might check with them if/when seen in person whether they wish to continue receiving invitations or drop them next time.
Non-response to invitations specifically tailored to someone or requiring specific commitment on your part - e.g. involving acquisition of tickets, or allocation of a place at table or in a vehicle - is rude.
If you worried about non-response to LJ posts you'd go mad!
I did have someone ask me the other day if I'd bought a ticket for him to the Jonathan Coulton concert, and had to say no, as he hadn't replied at the time.
I often do things as a mass message, at least partially as there's often an element of drama in certain circles, and person A won't come if person B comming, but I don't want to only invite one of them. Replies of "no" can be helpful in that case too.
Unless I forget to respond, that is. I try not to be flaky, but it happens sometimes.
I have one friend who's always texting me saying "how are you? how was ur weekend?" etc. If I don't respond I get a chase up text. I usually respond and then add "how are you?" - BUT he hardly ever texts back!!
It's totally a guy thing though too I think. For some reason none of the guys I know are able to process more than one piece of information in a text message. For example if you ask them two questions they will only ever answer one of them. So giving an answer and asking a question is probably too much. They read the answer and totally disregard the question.
I suppose it's my fault really. Women are natural communicators, I really shouldn't expect guys to all come up to my stupidly high standards.
Um yeah. Just had a bit of a communication malfunction with a client. Need some calming down now. But it's interesting realising the relationship between that and what we've been talking about.
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no subject
Date: 2008-10-23 09:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-23 10:41 am (UTC)If someone fails to respond to a mass email, the responses to this poll indicates that they may not be interested in the event, rather than not interested
methe inviter.no subject
Date: 2008-10-23 09:42 am (UTC)I would respond if numbers were critical eg for a dinner party or board gaming, or if the host was likely to make a special effort to accommodate my dietary needs.
If it were a general free-for-all held by someone I was close to whose events I frequently attended, I'd respond. If it were held by someone I was not so close to, who sure-would-be-nice-to-see-you-if-you-can-make-it, I'd probably only respond if I were accepting.
Maybe people should invite me to more things so I can generate a statistically significant set of results and hone my algorithm :-)
no subject
Date: 2008-10-23 10:48 am (UTC)I don't mind going alone, but it's not as fun. And (there's little chance of this happening, but) I don't want to be trying to organise 30 people. And I don't want to spam people who aren't interested at all.
Problem is if someone hasn't responded to any of them, I tend to think they're not interested in hanging out with me, or that I've misjudged the sort of thing that interests them, so I stop inviting them to things.
A friend pointed out that he was feeling anti-social for a while, so stopped going out with mates from work. By the time he felt sociable again he'd stopped being asked. In order to prevent this sort of thing, I tend to reply to anything I'd like to go to but can't.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-23 10:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-23 11:15 am (UTC)I'd never watch Autopsy Live though.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-24 01:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-23 11:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-23 11:24 am (UTC)And sometimes you're not sure if you will be going alone, and instead of enjoying doing what the heck you like, you end up waiting and waiting in case someone turns up. Not that that is how I spent last night at the cinema.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-23 09:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-23 10:53 am (UTC)I do try and respond with a "no, but I wish I could" where possible, just so people know the sort of things I would be interested in. Plus it's polite to respond to invites.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-23 10:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-23 10:54 am (UTC)I get invited to a lot of Warwick based events by someone on facebook, and I never go write on the wall saying "can't make this one either"
no subject
Date: 2008-10-23 10:59 am (UTC)Non-response to invitations specifically tailored to someone or requiring specific commitment on your part - e.g. involving acquisition of tickets, or allocation of a place at table or in a vehicle - is rude.
If you worried about non-response to LJ posts you'd go mad!
no subject
Date: 2008-10-23 11:13 am (UTC)I often do things as a mass message, at least partially as there's often an element of drama in certain circles, and person A won't come if person B comming, but I don't want to only invite one of them. Replies of "no" can be helpful in that case too.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-23 07:55 pm (UTC)I have one friend who's always texting me saying "how are you? how was ur weekend?" etc. If I don't respond I get a chase up text. I usually respond and then add "how are you?" - BUT he hardly ever texts back!!
no subject
Date: 2008-10-24 09:03 am (UTC)(I can never get angry with someone for not replying to emails as I'm quite bad at it myself).
no subject
Date: 2008-10-24 11:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-24 11:22 am (UTC)email: How do I do X and Y?
reply: You do X like this. Bye.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-24 11:34 am (UTC)Um yeah. Just had a bit of a communication malfunction with a client. Need some calming down now. But it's interesting realising the relationship between that and what we've been talking about.
One day I will understand myself...