RTFM.

[cdave]

The Nerd Handbook, or how to make sense of the geek in your life.

You might’ve noticed your nerd’s strange relation to food. Does he eat fast? Like really fast? You should know what’s going on here. Food is thrown into the irrelevant bucket because it’s getting in the way of the content.

About 80% of this is highly relevant to my behaviour. Who'd have thunk it?

If you liked this sort of link follow andrewducker. I usually don't forward his links because there's a lot of them.

Comments

[sharikkamur.livejournal.com]

That is scarily close to reality. I'm still working on the Cave design though, as rented accommodation doesn't really lend itself to proper Cave-building.

[cdave]

I know. I asked if I could hang pictures and they said "fine as long as you fill the nail wholes in and repaint the wall when you leave"

[alias_sqbr]

Huh. Though I usually just roll my eyes at such things, the use of exclusively male pronouns put me off: if they couldn't be bothered including female nerds they didn't seem likely to be thoughtful enough to keep reading.

[cdave]

Would you have felt as strongly if you'd read it, and he hadn't acknowledged the gender issue up front?

How would you handle what's supposed to be a series of observations that are gender neutral? Alternate pronoun in the examples? (Personally I'm a fan of the singular they, but I know a lot of people find it clunky)

[alias_sqbr]

Oh hey, he did! I didn't get down that far. Hmm. I'm not sure how I would have felt if I'd noticed it before I got too annoyed to keep reading, but as it is it feel a bit tacked on the way it's written. Still, it certainly helps a lot now I realise it's there.

*skims article* Yes as I expected, a lot of overgeneralising I didn't really agree with. Seems to assume nerds don't date nerds, too.

One technique I like (I've seen it used in science textbooks) is using the opposite gender to people's expectations. So for this sort of article, using "she". If the article makes no sense that way, you're not really being gender neutral :) But alternating is also good.

I don't really understand the problem with singular "they" myself, I find it perfectly serviceable and much less jarring than hir/zie/ou etc.

[cdave]

Well naturally it's overgeneralising, and assumes that it's not a nerd dating a nerd.

The article is not about humanity as a whole. It's trying to explain one specific type (the nerd) to someone who doesn't match that type and is dating one. The type, in circular logic, being defined as someone who matches most of the things listed.

A fair bit of the stuff in there doesn't apply to me, but most does, and I'm a self confessed geek (I prefer that term for some reason). Andrewducker's reaction to it was interesting in that he identified, and saw place where he can work on his own behaviour.

[alias_sqbr]

I guess...it felt almost like a horoscope in that you can interpret aspects of it as applying to oneself, and for some people it is pretty accurate, but it doesn't apply to a large swathe of people unless you redefine nerd as "people who fit this description" or interpret it all so vaguely it applies to half the population.

I mean, apart from the gender thing, I'm nerdy in a huge number of ways (two very nerdy degrees, a nerdy work history, nerdy hobbies, nerdy social life etc) yet:
-am only a bit above average for someone my age at practical computer hardware stuff. I can tell you how a Turing machine works, but don't ask me how to install linux.
-I do hate major change, but love small-scale variety, including wacky font crime
-I'm no more prone to cave-ness than any other person with hobbies (eg most people)
+I like puzzles.
+I have a good sense of humour
-/+ I kind of do the multitasking thing, but doesn't everyone online do that these days?
-I frequently talk for hours about meaningless irrelevancies just for fun and socialisation
-Even the people I hate think I like them

distantcam is much the same except he is good with hardware and software.

Also I guess I have trouble imagining why a nerd would go out with a non-nerd in the first place :D (being a straight girl may be part of this, I've never had too much trouble finding amenable boynerds to date)

[cdave]

I work in IT, and socialise with a lot of con-goers, so have a pretty skewed set of baselines. I do have a few people for whom I'm the geek on call to fix their PC troubles, so my view's skewed the other way too.

I know the horoscope thing. Pick a random Myers-Brigs result and read it, and more than half will resonate. So the real test if if it matches other people.

Thinking about the second set, a few know a computer has memory, but don't understand the difference between a hard drive and RAM. Less than there used to be, but there's still a lot of people out there.

In terms of having some background noise while online? I guess so, but again I know people who are genuinely disconcerted when I open up 20 tabs while researching whatever niggle's affecting their PC.

While I don't have any problem small talking with strangers (and enjoy it) I know that it's not always the case with con-goes. A UK fan recently wrote about appearing outgoing when they were really not in a locked post, but gave permission to repost, and about dozen people did. Similarly at Eastercon next year, they're planning on having a quiet room (name after Mycroft Holmes's club) and a number of people said this was a great idea as it meant the didn't have to trek back to the overflow hotel when they needed to recharge their social batteries.

[cdave]

And I forgot the main point, which is that I am dating a non-nerd. She may be a media SF fan, but most of that article doesn't (to my mind, I could be wrong) apply to her.

[alias_sqbr]

Heeey..you can't count con-goers as nerds to support your thesis in one paragraph then say your media sf fan gf isn't a nerd in the next :) (Unless she isn't the con-going sort of fan)

I think part of my issue is that the article isn't really about nerds it's about computer geeks (a group I am less unambiguously a member of). I think it's still a flawed description of them too, but it's closer to accurate and no longer bugs me for personal reasons.

I mean, I've never dated anyone who wasn't a computer geek, but I'd be willing to in principle. But I can't imagine going out with anyone who wasn't at least a bit of a nerd :D (hell, pretty much all my close friends and most of my less close ones are nerds)

[jon-a-five.livejournal.com]

I just got around to reading it. I'm a 'geek' too but this seems another lazy pandering to a stereotype that never really existed. He makes 'nerds' sound like they all suffer from Aspergers Syndrome or Autism.

[cdave]

So what percentage (very roughly) would you say applies to you, but not to a non-geek?

I suspect many non-geeks have "Caves" where they can hide themselves away from the world, but they are not as obvious. I've certainly seen a lot of houses that don't have a space where the detritus of one persons interests are clustered within easy, if chaotic reach / view.

I'd say it's stereotyped, but that the stereotype holds true more often than not.

[jon-a-five.livejournal.com]

That's where I'd disagree. I've met people like that (Both in the IT industry and in Fandom) but they've always been very rare. Most people in both are just... people.

Very little of that article applies to me and I'm a roleplaying, videogaming, wargaming, comics buying, SF&F reading, film festivalling (I think I made that word up), computer programming, con going geek. I am happily social, love to travel. A lot of the article, like the Cave or not listening, applies to most men (yes, I do mean men there). These are not specific to geeks/nerds. Many men have train sets in the attic, home brew in the basement or simply have an armchair in the garden shed.

Mind you I find 'The Big Bang Theory' insulting. At least 'The IT Crowd' made it's geeks endearing.

Quantify

[cdave]

Breaking the article down, and thinking about is this relevant to me, vrs a hypothetical non nerd:
> nerd’s relation to the computer
I know people who really don't understand why I blog, or upload photos to facebook.

> nerd has control issues
While I'm not OCD, I must admit to things like leaving Firefox installs scattered about on peoples PCs when I'm asked round to fix them.

> cave
Maybe it's more a man thing, but then is steryotyping of that sort any different morally?

> nerd loves toys and puzzles
I certainly know people who get incredibly frustrated when I try and play hidden rules drinking / card games. Generally speaking the "nerdy" a friend is, the more likely they will enjoy ferreting out the rules.

> nerds are funny
True for me, and I've never heard anyone else say anything quite like that before. Thought provoking.

> nerd has an amazing appetite for information
Okay, I may not be as bad when it comes to channel hoping three programmes, but (in personal computing time) I normally have a ton of tabs, and radio 4 on. If I watch TV on my own time, I normally have food or a laptop. I don't watch hardly any internet video, as it ties up the whole of the PC for minutes, preventing doing something else.

> Your nerd has built an annoyingly efficient relevancy engine in his head

Okay, I don't do this to people. I do listen to people. I do it to text though. Someone leaned over my shoulder and pointed out a signature on a forum that I would have loved, but I just don't see signatures. I'll give this one a half point.

> might come off as not liking people.

Not me.

> Map the things he’s bad at to the things he loves. (travel cave)

Not me.

> Make it a project.

So me.

> People are the most interesting content out there.

The first 50% of this is relevant. Including the eye contact bit.

> The Next High

I'm not even sure what this is saying. It seems to contradict iteslf.

I make that 9/12 that I see as relevant to me, and can quite easily see people for whom none of this is relevant. I'll call that as meaning the article has something worth saying.

Re: Quantify

[jon-a-five.livejournal.com]

"Maybe it's more a man thing, but then is steryotyping of that sort any different morally?"

Quite true. But that's the impression I got from the article (That it was masculinising nerds) (Did I just make up another word?)

Again, lots of non-nerds use tech to communicate. My parents are on Facebook (which is part of the reason I'm not :-). As for the cave I have all my stuff nearby because I have a one bedroom flat. If I could afford a big house I'd have had one. Partly to have a proper guest room for when I'm being social and having people stay.

I can't multitask. I have to write a list of things to do as I can only focus on one at a time. In fact I'm doing one of my list items in OpenWrite now - this posting is just procrastination :-)

I used to be really shy but grew out of it in my 20's. Actually, if nerds are such anti-social hermits how would they (we?) get boyfriends/girlfriends in the first place?!?

Re: Quantify

[jon-a-five.livejournal.com]

Actually I think we're approaching this stereotype from opposite viewpoints. You like it because by meeting much of the definition it gives you a sense of belonging to the nerd/geek group. I dislike it because I've often had it negativly applied to me. To the point where people are surprised I have a partner or ask me why I don't dress up as a Klingon (which, I assume, I am supposed to).

Re: Quantify

[cdave]

Pretty true. I'm reclaiming geek as a positive thing.

When I was younger the whole people in Star Trek costumes thing did seem a bit weird.

These days I see costuming as a chance to be really creative. And get it. And some of the people who would have been most likely to put down that sort of thing at school have some amazing photos of themselves at fancy dress parties on facebook.

Re: Quantify

[jon-a-five.livejournal.com]

Have you seen the advert at the top of this thread for a geek to geek dating site? :-)

Re: Quantify

[cdave]

No :D

I spent about 6 months researching dating websites on and off, hadn't come to any conclusion about which I would join (geek-to-geek, london centric, or nationwide), and accidentaly acquired a girlfriend the old fashioned way.

Re: Quantify

[jon-a-five.livejournal.com]

I met Vicky through a little dating site (which got swallowed up by one of the big sites).

By "old fashioned way" do you mean bashing her on the head and dragging her back to the 'cave'? :-p

Re: Quantify

[cdave]

She's a fellow Joinee, and thus fell solidly into the "part of same social activity" and "friend of a friend" categories.