Anonymous Valentines. I don't get it.

[cdave]

Valentines Day has always seemed to have two parallel traditions. For those in a relationship it is a day to express your love for each other (lets set aside cynicism for now). I think this is a lovely sentiment.

The other one is anonymously declaring your love for someone. This bit doesn't make sense to me. I don't understand it at all.

Asking someone out, is fine. Telling someone you think they're gorgeous in person, could be objectifying and creepy, so is not so cool, but can be done politely. But anonymously saying you love them seems a bit... well stalkery.

Can you explain this to me?

That said ...tell me you love me!!!!!


Get your own valentinr

I never turn off anonymous comments, but what the heck, I'm declaring this to be an anonymous comment Friday. Log off face book and say what you want.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

You're a good looking man with a good attitude and an attractive form. In short, I'd hit it.

[cdave]

Very kind of you to say so :)

/me ponders. Is the correct response to being "hit" to swoon?

[hawkida.livejournal.com]

Can you explain this to me?

I think the point is that you send something anonymous and the object of affection works out it was you and wonders how they were so blind to your wonderfulness and asks you out, saving you the embarrassment of doing the asking. And suspect it often results in them asking someone else out or just getting creeped out by the whole thing.

[cdave]

Cynic :P

I think I've only once given a non-partner a Valentines, and I did put my name to it. And it did cause embarrassment. Stupid 15 year old Dave.

[hawkida.livejournal.com]

Cynic

You've met me, right?

And as to embarrasment I'm 20 years older and have managed similar without even having Valentines day involved, so I think you're ahead.

[owlfish]

I can see how anonymity would make sense if it's a crush you'd never want to act on.

I grew up with a third tradition of Valentine's cards: give them to everyone in your family and elementary school classroom. C. still finds it really odd that my family exchanges cards on Valentine's Day since he grew up with such a different tradition of them.

[cdave]

Hahaha! Sorry. It does seem odd given the association I have with Valentines cards.

<insert joke about <small island community> here>

[offensive-mango.livejournal.com]

I grew up with a third tradition of Valentine's cards: give them to everyone in your family and elementary school classroom.

Yes, me too. I think that's why I find it very strange when people in the UK take so against Valentine's Day--to me it's just a holiday when anyone who loves anyone else, in any way, celebrates that. It doesn't have to involve money.

[(Anonymous)]

We all think you're lovely, Dave!

I have an awkward situation at the moment, after getting a very gooshy signed early Valentine and a huge box of chocs left on my doorstep by the guy who cleans our communal hallway. He knows I'm married (he addressed it to me as 'Mrs') and he has a key to the front door, so it freaks me out a bit. I'm going to have to give back the chocolates next time I see him and it's going to be SO embarrassing. I almost wish it had been anonymous, so I wouldn't be expected to deal with it. :-P

[sarahdotcom.livejournal.com]

ew that is a bit creepy and awkward.

[cdave]

Thank you!

The chocs in themselves feel either a) creepy (if just to you out of whole building) or b) asking for a tip, so crawley. But the fact that he's got keys would really freak me out. I don't like cleaners coming in my hotel room when I'm away.

[(Anonymous)]

Stuff itin!

xxx

[cdave]

Hahaha!

I told someone at work that story, as they've bought a Thornton's Chocolate slab with an iced message on it.

[chiller.livejournal.com]

I think the UK takes the whole thing absurdly seriously, and that the best response is to send virtually everyone a valentine's card, in a sort of jovial scattershot way, like a lot of Americans do. Having said that, I can't remember the last time I received a valentine's card that wasn't from my mum. It was probably in about 2001.

Also, I concur with your first anonymous poster, up to the "hitting it" part, because I don't want to be contractually obligated. I may have worked with lawyers for too long.

[cdave]

Ah! So it's a celebration of agape and philia as well as eros over the pond. Makes much more sense now.

Stupid English language. We need more words for love.

[chiller.livejournal.com]

I think it's more just an excuse to have fun. The 'mericans seem quite good at that. Actually, everyone seems quite good at that - I just think we take it way too seriously over here. I totally arranged my cats' food into a heart shape this morning. :D

[stevegreen.livejournal.com]

The other one is anonymously declaring your love for someone. This bit doesn't make sense to me. I don't understand it at all.

Mothers and fathers get their own day. Why not stalkers?

[cdave]

Hahaha! Brilliant response. I think I'll nick that one.